Cut The Crap with Clam Lynch, Semi-Motivational Guru
The Dark Room Theater
San Francisco, CA
Are you depressed, angry, sad, broke, tired, can't sleep, can't stay awake, unable to pay your bills, lonely, bitter, bored, hungry, confused, disappointed, drunk, in prison (mentally or physically), uninspired, unattractive, undersexed, under appreciated, underweight, overweight, overworked, or over stressed?
IF YOU SAID YES to even one of these questions, I can help you.
If you said yes to all these questions... well, *WE MAY NEED TO TALK
Do you want to change your life, but you don't know where to begin? Are you ready to realize your own "special specialness?" Is it time to set achievable goals (like getting out of bed)? Clam is here and ready to lead you on this important journey. Clam Lynch will help you make enormous strides in personal growth and self-discovery without any of the annoying pain and hard work. Whether you've been sleeping under a bridge downtown or in the back seat of your Mercedes S350, Clam understands your situation, and he's an authority on relieving the burden of excess cash overflow. Or underflow! Or whatever!
Clam's dynamic program is going to get you out of the trunk and into the driver's seat on the highway to success. Clam is 58% sure that this seminar will in all likelihood change your life. Clam focuses on results. So you don't have a home, a car, a job? Get one! It's as simple as that. Well, no it isn't really because then you wouldn't need this seminar. And you do need this seminar! You need to get down here and learn about practicing Happy Joy Bottom and Eating Brown. http://www.clamlynch.com/videos.html
"Clam brilliantly sends up the whole Dr. Phil and Oprah mentality of self help through self delusion and denial. All of which is just a bullshit scam to make more money, the real "purpose driven life."
- Roseanne Barr
"Words can barely describe the laugh-till-you-stain-yourself genius of Clam Lynch, Clam is the voice of all our happy nightmares "
-Jerry Stahl, author of Permanent Midnight, Plainclothes Naked, and I, Fatty: A Novel.
"Clam Lynch raises absurdity to an art form, silliness to a science, goofy to genius."
-Tom Murrin, performance editor, Paper Magazine
Dates:
*Friday, December 2 & 16, 2011 @ 10:30pm
*Friday, January 6 & 13, 2012 @ 8:00 pm
Tix: $10 advance/$12 at the door
Mr.Clam Lynch's YouTube Channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrClamLynch?feature=mhee
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Sales have ended for this event. Tickets may still be available at the door.
Thanks for letting me help you help me help you!
If you want to be on the mailing list for upcoming shows, email me at clam@clamlynch.com |
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Dates
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| First: | Friday Dec 02, 2011 10:30 PM | | Last: | Friday Jan 13, 2012 8:00 PM |
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Location
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The Dark Room Theater
2263 Mission Street (btwn 18th & 19th Streets)
San Francisco, CA 94110
United States |
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| Purchased on Dec 16, 2011 12:05 AM |
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| Purchased on Dec 16, 2011 12:05 AM |
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| Purchased on Nov 28, 2011 11:50 AM |
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